what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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