Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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