You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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