We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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