then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
