it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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