I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
