the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize