I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
