Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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