"it" just moved
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
