It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
