I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
They have beer where we have blood.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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