2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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