That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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