on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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