Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My balls are so social today.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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