As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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