South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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