On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
