just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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