every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
