Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
this must be what syphilis tastes like
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
