i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
