I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
accomplished twins. life is a go
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
it's like iHOP with fire
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize