I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
sarcasm needs its own font
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
