your thong is hanging out like whoa
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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