Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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