Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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