You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
