ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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