haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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