Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I touched a dick in church today
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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