I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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