Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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