we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
