Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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