I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
