dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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