Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
