Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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