Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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