you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
