Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
