So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Success! We fucked roommates!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
