Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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