I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
