This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
