Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
