a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize