Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
