I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Randomize
