Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
