So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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