Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
