I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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