I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
