Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
