haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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