Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I understand Curling. That high.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
