So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
