I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
